Understanding the Nervous System
- Sally Panks
- Jul 18
- 2 min read
Understanding the Nervous System: Rebuilding the Mind-Body Connection After Self-Harm
When you’ve experienced emotional pain that feels too big to carry, self-harm can sometimes become a way to cope. It’s a signal, not of weakness, but of an overwhelmed nervous system trying to find relief. Understanding how your nervous system works can help you begin to rebuild trust in your mind and body, and develop safer, more supportive ways to feel grounded.
Your autonomic nervous system (ANS) is your body’s built-in alarm system. It’s made up of two key parts:
The sympathetic system, which prepares you for danger (“The 4 F’s” see previous blog), and
The parasympathetic system, which helps you calm down and feel safe (“rest and digest”).
When life feels threatening, emotionally or physically, your nervous system can stay stuck in survival mode. For many who self-harm, this intense state of overwhelm or numbness becomes unbearable. The body and mind lose connection.
The good news: You can begin to regulate your nervous system. This doesn’t mean forcing yourself to feel better, it means gently helping your body feel safer, one moment at a time.
Gentle Ways to Support Healing:
Grounding Through Breath
Slow, deep breaths tell your body it’s okay to relax. Try placing a hand on your chest or belly and breathing in for 4 counts, out for 6. Even one minute can help.
Soothing Movement
Walking, stretching, or gentle yoga helps release trapped tension and reconnect you with your body without judgment.
Safe Distractions with Sensory Input
Hold something cold, light a scented candle, or listen to calming music. Engaging your senses can help bring you back to the present safely.
Validation Through Self-Compassion
Instead of judging your urge to self-harm, try noticing it with curiosity: “What is my body trying to tell me right now?” Pain is not a flaw, it’s a signal that something matters.
Connection
Talking to someone you trust, even briefly, can soothe your nervous system. You don’t have to share everything, just being heard is powerful.
Reconnecting with your body after self-harm takes time, care, and patience. You’re not broken, your nervous system is doing its best. With gentle, consistent support, you can build a safer inner world and find new ways to cope.
You deserve peace, not just in your mind, but in your body too.
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