The Dangerous Myth That Talking About Self-Harm Causes Self-Harm

For years, one persistent and harmful belief has held far too much power: the idea that talking about self-harm, or educating young people about it, will somehow make them more likely to engage in it.

It’s an understandable fear. Adults want to protect young people, and conversations about self-harm can feel uncomfortable, frightening, or “too heavy.” But research, safeguarding professionals, and lived experience all tell us the same thing:

Silence is more dangerous than conversation.

This myth doesn’t just misrepresent the truth, it causes real harm. It stops adults from opening supportive conversations. It isolates young people who are already struggling. And it leaves those at risk feeling like their experiences are taboo or shameful.

It’s time we challenge that myth head-on.

Myth: If we talk about self-harm, young people will copy it.

Reality: Talking about self-harm reduces risk, stigma, and secrecy.

Open, honest, age-appropriate conversations about self-harm do not plant the idea in someone’s mind. Young people are already exposed to far more online than adults often realise, what they lack is guidance, context, and a safe adult to help make sense of it.

When we avoid the topic, young people don’t become unaware. They simply become unsupported.

In contrast, responsible conversations can:

• Reduce stigma and shame, making it easier for a struggling young person to seek help

• Increase understanding of why self-harm happens and what healthy coping strategies look like

• Spot warning signs early, helping adults intervene before a crisis escalates

• Build trust, showing young people that their thoughts and emotions are not “too much” or “too dangerous” to talk about

Silence doesn’t protect. It isolates.

Why the Myth Persists

1. Adults fear “getting it wrong.”

Parents, carers, teachers, and youth workers often worry they might say the wrong thing or make a situation worse. But compassion and openness, not perfection, are what truly matter.

2. Misunderstandings about “suggestibility.”

Unlike certain highly specific behaviours, self-harm isn’t something people begin simply because they’ve heard the word. It’s almost always linked to overwhelming emotional distress. A conversation can’t create those feelings, but it can help relieve them.

3. Cultural discomfort with emotional pain

Many societies struggle to talk about mental health transparently. Self-harm, in particular, can trigger fear, guilt, or a desire to avoid complexity. Yet emotional discomfort is not a reason to look away, it’s a reason to lean in carefully.

Young People Tell Us They Want These Conversations

Young people consistently report that avoiding the topic doesn’t protect them - it makes them feel:

• Alone

• Confused

• Afraid to ask for help

• Worried they’ll get in trouble

• Ashamed of their feelings

When adults do talk openly and calmly, young people say they feel:

• Relieved

• Understood

• Less pressured

• More able to manage urges safely

• More connected to support

Conversations don’t introduce risk, they introduce hope.

Creating Safe, Responsible Education

Talking about self-harm must always be done thoughtfully. Good practice includes:

• Focusing on emotions, coping skills, and help-seeking, not methods

• Using neutral, non-sensational language

• Avoiding triggering details or images

• Emphasising that self-harm is a response to distress, not a solution

• Providing clear signposting to support

• Encouraging students to speak to a trusted adult

When done well, education empowers young people to understand their emotions, look after each other, and ask for help early.

The Real Risk: Silence

Avoiding the topic doesn’t keep a young person safe - it leaves them vulnerable.

Self-harm thrives in secrecy. It grows in shame, confusion, and isolation.

Talking about it shines a light on something that many young people already face, whether we acknowledge it or not.

Education is prevention.

Conversation is protection.

Silence is the real danger.

By challenging this myth, we create environments where young people feel safe, seen, and supported. And that, more than anything, is what keeps them well.